12/12/16

getting through get-togethers; part 3: breaking the ice



In Part 2 we covered various strategies for gaining a sense of control in party situations.

Part 3 continues in this excerpt from Lost My Partner:

At family gatherings, everyone will be aware of your loss. They may feel awkward about making any mention of it out of fear of "upsetting" you.

In truth, you may actually feel more hurt and upset if everyone is avoiding the subject.

In addition, not talking about the person everyone is thinking about only creates more tension at a gathering.

Others will take their cue from you. It’s helpful, therefore, at a point most comfortable for you, to mention your spouse in whatever way you wish.

You might, for example, bring up the name as part of a toast or prayer at dinner. Even casual comments such as: “Gee, Jack always loved Aunt Rose’s apple pie,” or “Remember how Connie couldn’t wait to start decorating for the holidays?” are effective ice breakers.


Please share any of your own strategies for coping with these situations.

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