get comfortable going solo

Now that quarantine restrictions have eased, going alone to restaurants, movies or social occasions is a major shift after losing a spouse/partner. Like many people, you may feel self-conscious about being seen by others as “alone” and worry you’ll stand out in a crowd.

By avoiding these situations, you cheat yourself of the potential pleasure they offer. Instead, try these tips for easing yourself back into the swing of things:

A.) RESTAURANTS. Bring along a book, electronic device, crossword puzzles or anything else that will distract you from worrying thoughts. Think about how often you yourself pay attention to other people in restaurants before they “blend into the scenery”. Why should others be any different?

B.) PARTIES AND SOCIAL OCCASIONS. Contact the hostess ahead of time and ask if there will be anyone attending who you already know and could be seated next to.

C.) MOVIES. Attend matinees (when the price of tickets is generally cheaper, anyway), when you are less likely to be surrounded by couples.

Remember that you were your own person before you were part of a couple, and you still are. You bring unique gifts and qualities, which are enhanced by life experiences, to any situation.


Anonymous said...

Going solo is still really hard for me, as my husband was the outgoing one and I am the shy one. So I still do take-out or dvd's, but I have sought out different group activities like bunco, etc, where i walked in solo, but walked out with some new friends who share common interests. it got me out, being with people instead of isolating, and actually having some fun-what a concept!

Laurie and Ruth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Laurie and Ruth said...

Dear Deb,

Your comment illustrates how you've struggled with the challenge of finding your own identity, apart from that of being a "couple". It also shows how, in the midst of the struggle, you've been discovering new things about yourself.

Thanks for sharing your inspiring