when anniversary reactions sneak up on you

We've all experienced them: things are going along okay when out of the blue you're suddenly feeling sad or depressed. You can't understand what's hit you. Everything seemed fine and these emotions just don't make sense. Or do they?

Stop and take a minute to ask yourself:

1. Is it the anniversary of a month, day or event that had significance for you or your spouse? While holidays are expected to be difficult, days that represent the "last time" or "our special experience" are just as emotionally loaded and often less obvious as sources of pain.

2.Have you recently revisited places that were special for you or your spouse? Even if it's a different time of year, locations can also trigger feelings of loss.

3. Is the anniversary date/revisit about to come up or just past? One reason these reactions catch us off-guard is because their timing is often unpredictable or unexpected.

By taking the time to recognize what is triggering these emotions, you can reduce your confusion and anxiety. Consider making a small gesture to mark the occasion, such as lighting a candle or just talking about the anniversary with someone you can trust to understand. 


Anonymous said...

What a great topic! Those "anniversaries" do have a way of sneaking up on you. It could be driving past a favorite restaurant, finding an old picture, or seeing the latest release of his favorite author/cd. So many unexpected things could trigger those memories and emotions, good and bad. Grief is a bumpy ride at best-just buckle your seat belt and hang on tight!

Laurie and Ruth said...

Thanks for your comment, Deb. Especially love the "bumpy ride" analogy! Really expresses our own feelings.