4/27/09

more ways to cope with appetite loss


In a previous post we talked about coping with the loss of appetite after your spouse/partner’s death.

We recently came across momminusdad.com, a site for adult children who have lost a parent. In this useful post, author Jamieson Haverkampf recommends the following:

Prepared food can be a thoughtful and useful gift for a griever from friends or family, especially during the first few months after the loss of a spouse or loved one. Here are a few options to choose from: Big City Chefs: personal chefs in major cities for hire; Diamond Organics: fresh organic foods from California with overnight delivery; Dinewise: gourmet frozen meals with special meals for seniors and diabetics; Gourmet Grocery online: gift baskets and prepared meals and soups or Harry and David for gourmet gift baskets; and Home Bistro: meals for special diets. Your friends and family will appreciate having healthy foods around when they have low energy to get foods themselves after the loss of a loved one.

While this is a great way for others to “do something”, it can also be a good way to take care of yourself. Especially at those times when you don’t feel up to shopping and/or fixing something to eat. Or depending on family or neighbors to do it for you.

There are also some regional supermarket chains that offer online selections and home delivery. Check out Netgrocer.com, which has an extensive directory of online food, grocery, and pharmacy products. Another option is GroceriesExpress.com, which provides it's own grocery items for delivery.

Although it can get costly, occasionally ordering meals or groceries online can provide a healthy alternative on days when you’d just rather not bother. Yourself or others.













































4/22/09

when should i stop wearing my wedding ring?


After your spouse/partner dies, you may have mixed feelings about when to remove your wedding ring.

Because there are no firm rules about if and when to take this emotionally loaded step, it’s really up to you to decide when to stop wearing your ring.

You might practice removing it for short periods and see how you feel. Or try a more gradual change by shifting the ring to another finger, different hand, or a chain you wear around your neck.

However you proceed, take the time you need to make the decision that's right for you.

4/5/09

reflections by deb edwards: hard to believe it's been a year



The first year following the death of a spouse is filled with many “anniversaries”, occasions that can stir up memories both happy and sad.

Deb recently shared some recollections that the month of April triggers for her:

Hard to Believe It's Been a Year

This is a tough month for me. Last year at this time, I put my husband Dale into hospice and began preparing myself for the inevitable (as much as you can “prepare”).

But it was a very special time; we made our amends and reaffirmed our love.

I was able to make two of his wishes come true before he died: to receive his black belt and to be baptized.

It was a very special time for our family – but one that brings back many smiles and many tears. It is hard to believe it has almost been one year.


Look for more about coping with these special days in our next blog.

4/1/09

some survivor benefits you may not know about



If your spouse/partner has died or you’re a widowed mom or dad, you’re probably already familiar with your basic Social Security benefits.

But did you know that if your divorced spouse has died, you can receive benefits as a widow/widower? The marriage has to have lasted 10 years or longer and you must be age 60 or older (or age 50 if you are disabled).

Under certain circumstances, the following survivors may also qualify for benefits:

* Step-children, grandchildren, or adopted children.

* Dependent parents age 62 or older.

Check out http://www.socialsecurity.gov/ for more information. The site lists the paperwork you’ll need and how to apply.

If you were in a same-sex marriage or domestic partnership, your state may also offer survivor benefits. Go to http://www.findlaw.com/, to get further information about your particular state’s provisions. This is generally a great site for answers about a wide variety of legal issues.

Never assume you have no rights or benefits. Always check it out!