reflections by deb edwards: what i know for sure about being a widow - 2 years later

Here's an update that Deb Edwards sent 2 years after her husband's death:

When I think about my husband now, I remember more of the happy times than the sad times.

Time passes differently now; the first year time was measured in hours, days, weeks and months. Now it is years.

I am learning just how capable I am...in surprising ways.

Some days the “hole” actually feels a little smaller.

I found out who my real friends are and I feel so blessed to have them in my life.

Life does go on - I see that in the eyes of my grandchildren and with every passing season.

Grief still sneaks in when and where I least expect it…I’ve learned just to go with it and be gentle with myself. Especially in the cereal aisle.

I still have to force myself to go outside my comfort zone, but have done new things and continue to amaze myself.

I still miss my husband everyday, and can look around a room and feel like I am the only person that is not part of a couple.

I try to live my life with love and faith and forgiveness - no regrets.

There really is “light at the end of the tunnel” (can’t believe I said that) just keep your eyes, mind and heart open.

I know that my husband is looking down on me from wherever he is...and he is smiling!

This journey is not over. And the path is not always straight

Deb Edwards


reflections by deb edwards: what i know for sure about being a widow

While in the process of setting up this blog, we were contacted by Deb Edwards, a visitor to our lostmypartner.com website. We recently heard from Deb and were inspired to again share some of her original posts.

In 2009 she emailed: "I lost my husband last year, and have done some writing about it. I would like to share my experiences with other people who have had similar losses, in hopes that I could reach out to them and touch them in some way that would help them through their journey." Thanks, Deb, for sharing the following :

What I Know for Sure About Being a Widow

I hate the sound of the word "widow" so much I can barely say it out loud

When I think I can't cry anymore...I do

Grief is something you can't get around...you have to go through it

That "hole" will never be completely filled

You find consolation in very unexpected ways

The car and the shower are good crying places

No one gets to tell you how to feel...whatever you feel is OK

You never know what could trigger the grief...it could be something as obvious as the holidays or as random as the cereal aisle

You get to feel the way you feel until you don't feel that way anymore

Anyone who says "I know how you feel"...doesn't

You do find laughter amidst the tears

People say it gets easier - don't know - I'm not there yet

Having "no regrets" will help you find peace in your heart

They are always with us...but never in the same way

Life does go on...but never the same way.

Take care of yourself...and remember to breathe.

Deb Edwards