8/29/19

reflections: quotes for getting through the days 2


Here are more quotations we find inspiring:


1) Bereavement is a darkness impenetrable to the imagination of the un-bereaved.
-Iris Murdoch

2) Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death.
-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross
3) Dawn is born at midnight.- Carl Jung
4) If the future seems overwhelming, remember that it comes one moment at a time.- Beth Mende Conny
5) They that love beyond the world cannot be separated by it. Death cannot kill what never dies.- William Penn

6) The timing of death, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it.
- Mary Catherine Bateson
7) There is no pain so great as the memory of joy in present grief.-Aeschylus

8) Hope is the thing with feathersThat perches in the soul,And sings the tune without the words,and never stops at all.-Emily Dickenson

9) Nothing is so strong as gentleness and nothing is so gentle as real strength.-Ralph W. Sockman

10) No one ever told me that grief felt so like fear. I am not afraid, but the sensation is like being afraid. The same fluttering in the stomach, the same restlessness, the yawning. I keep on swallowing. At other times it feels like being mildly drunk, or concussed. There is a sort of invisible blanket between the world and me. I find it hard to take in what anyone says. Or perhaps, hard to want to take it in.
- C. S. Lewis

8/1/19

i hate the word "widow"!


As if going through the death of a spouse/partner wasn’t difficult enough, you’re suddenly labeled by everyone as a “widow” as soon as the death occurs.

Unfortunately, there have always been negative stereotypes about what it means to be widowed.

Take these examples from literature:

In order to save face in society, a widow was compelled to announce her loss to the world by her apparel. From Middlemarch by George Eliot: "My dear Celia," said Lady Chettam, "a widow must wear her mourning at least a year.”

Here’s an example of the stereotype of a widowed woman as vulnerable sexual prey from Fantastic-Fables by Ambrose Bierce: ‘A widow weeping on her husband's grave was approached by an Engaging Gentleman who, in a respectful manner, assured her that he had long entertained for her the most tender feelings.’

Until recently (in some cases, it’s still a reality), a widow was left financially destitute by her husband’s death. From the novel, Robin Hood by Walker J. McSpadden: ‘Toward the close of the same day, Rob paused hungry and weary at the cottage of a poor widow who dwelt upon the outskirts of the forest.’

Keep in mind that many of these old stereotypes probably continue to influence how you and others see your changed status. Like all aspects of a new identity, it takes time and baby steps to increase your sense of who you now are and how you want to define yourself.