After your spouse/partner dies, you may have mixed feelings about when to remove your wedding ring.
Because there are no firm rules about if and when to take this emotionally loaded step, it’s really up to you to decide when to stop wearing your ring.
You might practice removing it for short periods and see how you feel. Or try a more gradual change by shifting the ring to another finger, different hand, or a chain you wear around your neck.
However you proceed, take the time you need to make the decision that's right for you.
19 comments:
I took my ring off right after my husband died. I keep it with his ring in a special place. For me, it was a symbol of a marriage and a part of my life that had ended. What keeps me connected to him are the memories that I carry in my heart.
My husband died almost 3 months ago. I have been struggling with whether or not to stop wearing my wedding ring. Today I took it off and put it on my pinky finger. Maybe someday I'll take it off completely but I doubt it.
Thanks for that great suggestion. Remember that there's no "right" or "wrong" here. It takes some people years before they're ready to take the step you've just taken.
So give yourself time and do whatever feels best for you.
We appreciate your comment!
I have been a widow for 9 months. I took my rings off and chose to put the engagement ring on my right finger but not wear the wedding band. The band is with my husbands. Unfortunately, my husband died by suicide and I feel that he "chose" to end the marriage but the engagement ring is too beautiful not to wear. So I am reminded of the love we had by continuing to wear it.
Dear Anonymous,
Mourning a death by suicide is especially complicated. It sounds, however, that you’ve worked out a good solution to the ring dilemma. Thanks for your wise and insightful comment!
I lost my wife to breast cancer In December 2009. After wearing and not wearing my wedding band, I've decided to take it off and keep it with my wife's ring. I do not need ring to remember my wife. In fact, the absence of the ring is a better reminder that wearing the ring. My love for her is the same as it has always been, whether I wear the ring or not.
Thank you for your comment and the beautiful sentiment you expressed.
Joanne
I lost my husband of 27 years nearly 5 years ago, it would have been his 53rd birthdat today. I moved the diamond engagement ring to my right hand last week and finally took my wedding ring off. I think this is a sign of moving forward but it is very painful so I may put the rings back. Its very individual....
We agree thats it's a very personal decision. Give yourself a big pat on the back for taking this difficult step. Big steps are never without mixed feelings, so be patient with yourself.
My father passed when I was a freshmen in high school. My mother was very upset and had a hard time taking the big step of taking off her ring. But when she did, she took my father's ring and her's and had it made into my wedding ring which I wear today. It means alot to me to know that I can have something that stood for so much in their lives in my new venture in life.
What a beautiful way to remember a loving marriage and inspire a new one! Thank you for sharing.
MY HUSBAND PASSED AWAY IN JUNE OF THIS YEAR AND I AM NOT GOING TO TAKE MY RINGS OFF FOR IT WOULD BE A SIND THAT I DO NOT LOVE HIM AND I AM JUST THAT WAY
You lost is very recent and this is a decision that most people don't make until more time has passed following their loss.
Keep in mind that there's no right or wrong here and it's a personal decision. Only you know what's best for you.
Thanks for your comment.
I lost my husband this year 2011 and I don't know what I should do he died unexpected. We have 2 small children boys they are finding it very hard to cope with losing their daddy whom died on the 24 of june 2011. I don't think anyone should force me to take off my wedding ring that my beloved husband placed on my finger when we got married. Charlene Jackson
Dear Charlene,
We agree that you shouldn't let anyone pressure you into taking any step that doesn't feel right for you. You are the best judge when and if to take off your ring.
Keep in mind that your loss is very recent and there's no hurry to make this important decision. Your feelings are shared by many.
Take care.
I recently lost my wife. She was a beautiful person and I am deeply saddened by her passing. I cherish our many memories and will miss her terribly. I appreciate and am going to try Deb e's approach by keeping my ring on the bedside table attached my favorite picture of us.
We agree that's a great suggestion.
Thank you for your comment.
I lost my husband on October 30, 2011 to Cancer. He was only 43 years old. We have two children both boys. Our 17th wedding anni. is in a couple of days (Dec. 29th). This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. I look at my rings every day on my finger and cry or get sad. I feel guilty when I think about taking them off.
With such a recent loss and your anniversary and the holidays here, please give yourself time before taking this very personal step. There's no hurry. Trust yourself to know what's best for you.
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