travel options for solo travelers

Want to get away from it all during the holiday season but not sure about traveling since you lost your partner/spouse?
The notion of traveling can be especially challenging if you have few friends who are available and/or able to take the time or share the expense of joining you.

Here are links to three of our posts that you should find helpful.

In Part 1, we talk about some of the emotional issues that can arise as you plan a vacation following the loss of your spouse/partner.

In Part 2, we explore some travel options especially for women travelers.

In Part 3, we offer some travel ideas that include educational experiences, opportunities for male travelers and situations where you may want to bring along your kids or grandkids.

Please let us know if you’ve discovered any other services or resources for solo travelers.

Bon Voyage!


veteran's survivors assistance

If your late spouse or parent was a veteran or service member, you may want to check out the Office of Survivors Assistance page on the Dept. of Veteran’s Affairs website. The OSA is a department within a department that was set up in 2008 to specially deal with survivor’s issues and information.

We’ve talked about the updated VA site in a previous post and it continues to be easy to navigate.

The OSA pages offer lots of information about dependent’s benefits as well as burial information.

There’s an excellent “Quick Tips” page that offers an empathic and practical guide through the process of gathering necessary documentation and filing a claim for benefits.

Let us know what your experiences have been in dealing with the OSA.


a legal site with useful links

Need to become better informed about a legal issue that’s come up since your partner died?

We’re always looking for free, reliable online sources of information and think that FindLaw.com is worth checking out.

Although FindLaw.com is primarily an online referral site for finding a lawyer, it also has some useful links to official state sites so you can browse relevant laws.

In addition, the FindLaw site offers an online guide to hiring a lawyer as well as a listing of your state’s legal aid resources.

If you’re looking for a lawyer, check out our post, Need A Lawyer?

Let us know what you think and if you’ve discovered other online resources.


wow! we’ve made it to 200!

Since our first posts over a year and a half ago, when we were almost clueless about blogging, we’ve published 200 posts (this makes 201) on our lostmypartner.com blog.

We’d really appreciate any feedback you can give us about posts you’ve found most helpful and/or topics you’d like to see us cover in the future.

In our efforts to provide the best support and information to the widowed and their family and friends, we’d appreciate any suggestions about how to improve this site or our website, lostmypartner.com.

Thanks for visiting!

Laurie and Ruth


we're taking the week off

Ruth and I are taking this week off from blogging.

We'll be back with you next Monday.

In the meantime, take care of yourself and check out some of our past posts.

Best Wishes,


reflections: quotes to get you through the days; part 8

1) It's so curious: one can resist tears and 'behave' very well in the hardest hours of grief. But then someone makes you a friendly sign behind a window, or one notices that a flower that was in bud only yesterday has suddenly blossomed, or a letter slips from a drawer... and everything collapses.
- Colette

2) Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break.
- William Shakespeare

3) Tears are the silent language of grief.
- Voltaire

4) One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength which can overcome adversity.
-Albert Schweitzer

5) Grief is the price we pay for love.
- Elizabeth II


reflections: quotes for getting through the days; part 7

1) Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, love leaves a memory no one can steal.
-From a headstone in Ireland

2) If you're going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill

3) Courage is being afraid but going on anyhow.
-Dan Rather

4) There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn, and people we can't live without but have to let go.
-Author Unknown

5) She was no longer wrestling with the grief, but could sit down with it as a lasting companion and make it a sharer in her thoughts.
-George Eliot


great resources for military widowed

If your partner/spouse was in the armed services, these previous posts offer valuable links to supportive resources:

- Resources for Military Survivors
- Updates in Veteran’s Benefits Website

Check them out.

Please let us know if you’ve discovered any additional information that would be helpful to our readers.

Ours thoughts and best wishes are with anyone who has lost a loved one in service to our country.


when should i stop wearing my wedding ring and other timelines about widowhood; part 3

Our series of posts about important timeline questions continues:

*When should I start visiting the gravesite?

Have you visited your late spouse/partner’s grave since the funeral?

If not, do you find you just can’t bring yourself to go? Even when family and friends offer to accompany you?

Do you feel guilty because this ritual is one a widowed partner is supposed to observe?

Actually, there are no “rules” about this. Although some faiths mark the end of the first year of mourning by observing a memorial for the deceased, visiting the gravesite is otherwise a very personal choice.

While some people find regular visits comforting, others find it too upsetting and choose not to visit. Some visit only on special occasions or holidays.

As with all other aspects of mourning, you should trust your own sense of what feels right for you. It’s okay to give yourself as much time as you need before you’re ready to take this step.

*When Will My Mourning Be Over?

(Excerpted from our book, Lost My Partner – What’ll I Do? Revised and Expanded Edition).

The mourning process is often described as feeling as though you’re stuck on a roller-coaster.

Nobody chooses this ride, but once it starts, you have to hold on tight and trust you’ll eventually be back on solid ground. The first few dips can be unsettling, and just when the track straightens out and you think you can finally relax, there may be a few more dips before you get to the finish.

The hopeful news is, if you don’t try to jump out before the ride ends, and if you have someone (or a group) beside you for support, the dips will come less frequently, and you’ll recover more quickly.

“How long will this ride take?”

In most cultures of the world, the period of mourning is traditionally one year, however, the answer is different for everyone. (read more)


join us to celebrate the first anniversary of lostmypartnerblog!

It’s hard to believe it’s been a year since we began this blog.

At the time, we were clueless about how to be bloggers and uncertain whether anyone out there in the blogosphere would discover us.

Since then, we’ve been touched and inspired by the wonderful, insightful comments we’ve received from our readers.

Because we don’t have a typical “fans” sidebar (for reasons of privacy), we’d love to hear from you.

During the month of March, we’re asking you to send us your best tips for coping with loss.

We’ll then publish the best entries on lostmypartnerblog.com.

Email us at contact@lostmypartner.com.

We look forward to hearing from you!


another movie that deals with loss

In our post from last October, Seen Any Good Movies Lately? we listed several films that deal with the death of a spouse/partner.

A more recent addition to the list is the film, A Single Man. The film has just received an Oscar nomination for Best Actor.

Nominee Colin Firth stars as an early 1960’s English professor in Los Angeles, whose long-time partner suddenly dies. The story follows Firth’s character as he struggles with a range of feelings common to anyone who has lost a partner/spouse.

Let’s hear from you!