can't stop crying

That might sound like title of a country western song, but it’s all too real an experience when your spouse/partner has died.

After my husband’s death, I felt like the tears would never stop.

I remember being at work, in social situations, or just driving and finding myself unexpectedly tearing up. Caught off-guard and often embarrassed, I’d head for the nearest private place (like a restroom or quiet street), to try to pull myself together.

I realize some people consider crying a form of self-pity.

But I’ve learned that tears are nature’s way of helping us release tension. The best way to do the mourning is to do the grieving. And that means every tear helps.

So trust yourself. Your mind does have a shut-off valve.

Look for tips about the best private places to grieve in our next post.



Anonymous said...

I totally agree , tears are a great way to grieve.
i lost my best friend and husband nov 1st, i am so lost, i cant do anything but cry all the time.

we doen everything together , even going to the grocery is so hard, i cant sleep or think right and i pray for strength.

my husband has been thru so much medically, he rcvd a liver transplant in 2oo7, then in july 2010, just a few months ago i dontated a kidney to him, but then he went back to hosp with intestional issues, and we lived at the hosptial for 3 months, he passed unexpectly,and i am so lost.

i know we all grieve in different ways and i am interested in hearing from others who are in the same situation i am.

God bless

Ruth and Laurie said...

With all that you've been through and with such a recent loss, your reactions are to be expected and are shared by many.

And on top of everything, it's the holidays, one of the most difficult times of the year for anyone newly bereaved.

Please be patient and gentle with yourself and keep in mind that it'll take some time to sort things out emotionally. As we say," For now, not nomal IS normal".

You may find some tips in our posts re coping with the holidays while you're mourning.

Please keep in touch and let us know how you doing.

Enrilo said...

Deep sadness that you feel your heart surely suffocating. Crying and pulled out your feelings in a way that you like, can reduce the pressure. Write down what you feel and help others who are experiencing similar things like this blog, really very helpful. This blog is very inspiring

Laurie and Ruth said...

Dear Enrilo,

Thank you for sharing with us and for your gracious comments about our blog.

Anonymous said...

I lost my husband 2 years ago this March. He was very ill, but his sudden death was not related to his illness. The shock & utter horror of that phone call at 1:30 am sent me into a dazed-hysterical mode--I could barely walk to the hospital with my brother-in-law to the hospital (to identify the deceased). I remember that last look at my love & it just comes to me out of the blue--so many feelings of loss, guilt, anger and the worst: what do I do without him? I had to move two months after his death--back to my home town. All of my old friends are gone. I have 3 family members, but they are living their own lives. Sometimes I can't fathom the rest of my life feeling like this. Are there others going through this? It's the loss of his daily presence that's eating me up right now. Who do I laugh with? Who do I talk to or act silly with. Time has helped, but I'm so ready for this hurt to go away. I'm rambling, but I truly am "alone, alone" for the first time in my life.