(The following is excerpted from Lost My Partner - What'll I Do? Revised and Expanded Edition)
“No matter how many times the
doctor warned him, and I begged, threatened, and tried to help, he still
ignored us.”
If your partner’s death occurred as
an apparent result of not following medical advice and/or complying with
treatment or by substance abuse, it can seem that he/she chose to die. While
the term “suicide” is generally applied to a sudden act that results in death,
these situations can seem like a form of slow suicide.
After what may have been years of
frustration as you tried your best to control your partner’s self-destructive
behavior, he/she died anyway. As a consequence, you may see yourself as not
having been valuable or powerful enough to stop your partner’s downward spiral.
You may also feel “relieved” that a
painful and oppressive relationship has ended, but guilty about expressing
this, especially around family and friends, who may see your reactions as
“disloyal” towards your late partner.
In Part 2, we'll offer tips on how to cope with these concerns.
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