now that i'm sick, where are you? part 2

In our previous post, we looked at how feelings of abandonment, anger, depression and anxiety can arise when you find yourself struggling through an illness without your spouse/partner being there for you.

The best ways to cope with these situations include:

a) Recognizing what is actually triggering these emotions.

b) Calling on family, friends or neighbors to stop by (just having someone in the house can be comforting), or run errands for you.

c) Reminding yourself, if you’re uncomfortable asking for help, that you would help others if they were in a similar situation.

d) Contacting the medical social services department at your local hospital for assistance in finding resources, such as support groups, home health aides, or other services.
Remember: you’ve developed coping skills during and after your spouse’s death and can now draw on them to make it through this period.

NOTE: Because your spouse’s death has left you more physically vulnerable, it’s important to let your doctor know about your loss. Some pre-existing medical conditions may be affected by the stress of recent circumstances.


Anonymous said...

For me, this was one of the scariest things about losing my husband. We had always been there for each other-and had taken care of each other when we were ill or in pain. So, "What will I do if I get sick and can't take care of myself" was very frightening. I did "circle the wagons" and developed a stronger support system with friends and the outreach program at my church. Being very independent and never wanting to "bother" anyone, it took me awhile to be able to each out and accept the support that was offered I also purchased long term disability insurance-expensive-but well worth the price for the peace of mind it provides. And yes,I still feel abandoned, anxious and angry at times when I am feeling physically vulnerable, but I realize those emotions are part of the process as well as part of my new "normal".

Laurie and Ruth said...

Thanks, Deb, for your candid and informative comment! Your suggestion about getting long-term care insurance is an excellent idea.