making it through mother's day - this year

Holidays like Mother’s Day can be difficult, especially during the first year after your loss. Gift items and cards are advertised everywhere, bittersweet reminders of happier family times.

Mother’s Day may stir up the pain of loss for you, your children and/or grandchildren. If you’ve lost your spouse/partner, it may also remind you of your own deceased parent(s).

Children in particular can feel left out and troubled while others around them celebrate the occasion.

Here are some tips for helping your family cope:

a. Acknowledge your own feelings of loss by talking about how you miss your spouse/partner or parent. When children see you sad or tearful it lets them know their own feelings are normal.

b. Have younger children create “remembering” cards, with photos or drawings of special memories about their parent or grandparent.

c. You may find it comforting to visit the cemetery or other place of remembrance.

d. If there is a family gathering, make some time to share fond or funny memories of your loved one.

The feelings Mother’s Day stirs up won’t just go away. It’s best to acknowledge the occasions, even briefly, especially with children. Otherwise, these emotions will come up another time.


Anonymous said...

Every day is a struggle.It seems to get worse as time goes by. 4 years for me and I am still so heart broken.My husband was my best friend,my soul-mate. We had just retired when I lost him. Now what? I am so lost.

Laurie and Ruth said...

It sounds as though you may be depressed in addition to grieving for the loss of your spouse. This is a common outcome of losing a spouse, as so many aspects of life are impacted by the loss.

Putting the pieces of your life back together may need some professional help at this point.

Talk to you doctor about a referral or contact your local mental health agency for a trained counselor.

Clinical depression can be serious but is treatable, and with some help to sort things out, you can find your way out of this pain.